Q: Ashley is a very determined woman with a solid career. Did you face some of the same issues in your career? What advice would you give to women that feel the need to be it all? (Wife, mother, and career driven)
A: Yes, there is a very real correlation between Ashley and me. I loved working and I loved being a wife and a stay-at-home mom. I didn't want to live in the shadow of my husband. I wanted to maintain my own identity. I think many career women and mothers have similar feelings. We love our families, spouses, significant others, even our pets; we're thankful and blessed for their presence in our lives, yet we want a piece of the world that still reflects us. This is the conflict in The Reluctant First Lady. It's how one woman works through her dilemma when the stakes are about as high as they can get.
Women have asked me the second part of this question many times. How did I balance it all? How did I do it all? The truth is somewhere between the lines. I've managed to do a lot of things, but not all at the same time. When my children were born, I took off five years with each of my three sons to stay at home until they entered school. (My sons are spaced widely apart, nine years between the first two, and eight years between the second and third child.) Once they started school, I went back to work. It was my choice to stay at home, but I can't say I wasn't resentful at times over the fact that having children didn't affect my husband's career like it did mine. I was lucky, though, I was able to stay at home when my boys were young. So many women are the breadwinners for their family unit and have to work. I highly admire them. But every woman, and I believe for the First Lady of the United States, it should be a choice not an assumption. That's not always possible for financial reasons, but in regards to the First Lady, I do think it should be a choice for the President's spouse. What will happen when one day we have a female president? What will the husband do?
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